Recently I have been looking at cars. This happens every now and again. Especially when I feel that running with only one car isn’t really working out for us anymore. In doing this I start thinking about what I want in a car and more importantly what I don’t want.
We currently have a Holden Berlina station wagon. It’s an automatic and pretty roomy, a nice sensible family car. Which means my choice for a second car is wide open. It means I can get something smaller, more ‘fuel efficient’ and something that doesn’t handle, well, like a station wagon…
I mean there isn’t anything really wrong with the Berlina, it’s a great car. It’s just sometimes we need to be at two different places and would both benefit from having a car. Actually come to think about it there are a few things about the Berlina that I just really don’t get.
For example.
Let’s take the humble cup holder. A wonderful idea on it’s own. Now you can have your favourite canned, bottled or paper cupped beverage within easy reach without the fear of it being flung all over your center console. However, positioning of such convenience must be called into question. I’ve asked a couple of people and most agree that the positioning is quite ridiculous. It would actually function better if there were no cup holder at all.
Allow me to explain.
My cup holder sits just behind the gear stick between the driver and passenger seats. It has a cover that locks into place over it when it’s not in use. This is it’s optimal and ideal position for driving comfort. Now we can raise the cover allowing us to place our drinks carefully in the shapely moulding that they were so gracefully meant to slide into, however, when the driver goes to use the gear stick, traction control, power/ecco button or the handbrake then there are two ginormous obstructions. The effect is unfortunately no better when there is only one drink present. Obviously you do not place the beverage on the drivers side because that would just be stupid. Placed on the passenger side you do get more room for your arm and more access to the controls but then there is this cover that sticks up and digs into your arm. Then once all the drinks are finished and the cup holders empty there is a time that spans at least 3 days where you forget to push the cover back into place. Clearly the cover was never meant to be there in the first place.
Another one is the button that turns on your hazard lights. For me this is one of the key safety features of the modern car, it is the best way to let the folks around you know that something is wrong or you are in trouble. It should not be used lightly and in the wrong hands could spell doom for the whole of humanity. ie it should not be used when traveling in the centre-most lane to tell everyone else you are going really slow. First let’s talk positioning. I feel a button of great importance such as this one should be visible and in easy reach in case of an emergency. It should not be tucked away on top of the steering column. Having to reach through the steering wheel to push a button is a huge no no, what if you suddenly need to turn or your wheels are forced to turn causing the steering wheel to mirror what the wheels are actually doing. Disaster. Fortunately on the Berlina my hazard button is not perched atop the steering column, it’s in a smart, easy to reach location. My problem with it is that it doesn’t reach out and slap you in the face.
I feel that the airforce have the right idea here. You see, when something goes wrong in a fighter plane and the pilot needs to eject, there is no scrabbling round searching for some button that has the potential to save their life. No. It’s there. It’s big, it’s bold, it’s red and you can thump it with a grand feeling of satisfaction. That’s right, you should also know when you’ve pushed this magnificent button so that you are aware and not falsely signalling distress. No more of this accidentally switching your hazard lights on for miles of road like what happens with indicators so often. Eventually your mind switches back on and says “hang on, what is that rhythmic clicking sound?” … “kinda catchy” … wait a second, that’s the indicators, let’s turn those off.” There shall be none of that nonsense with the hazard lights. Something a bit more in the face that clicking. Maybe a nice Harooooga!!
Another improvement that could be made is the addition of Cow Catchers on the front of all vehicles. Although quite apart from their intended purpose which a few of my friends will either find useful or entertaining, I’m sure they can find completely new and inappropriate uses for it. Which I ‘spose is why I am not the head designer for any car manufacturer I know of.
